| The loss of a baby at any stage in pregnancy can have a profound impact on parents. The gestational age of the baby is often not what is important. After all the dreaming, imagining and planning it is also the loss of those hopes and dreams for the future. To feel sad, empty and confused at this time is very normal.
Following the death of a baby there are many emotions that may surface. Grief may be intensified by the fact that there is nothing tangible to grieve over. Others may not acknowledge that the baby ever existed and parents may feel left alone in their grief.
Many women experience bleeding in the days leading up to miscarriage. For others the pregnancy ends suddenly with no warning at all. One day you’re pregnant and planning for a future with your child and then within such a short time all your hopes and dreams are shattered.
Why?
A pregnancy may end in miscarriage for many reasons, including a weakness in the womb or cervix, a chromosomal abnormality, viral infections, diabetes, and placental malformation. Sometimes there is no explanation for the loss of a pregnancy.
Feelings of guilt are often experienced and women may feel that they have lost control over their body. Talking to someone about your feelings and anxieties can be a great comfort.
The Days and Weeks Ahead…
Facing reality of everyday life after the loss may be difficult. Parents often feel that their lives have been turned upside down. Telling people what has happened can be difficult and the news may be received with mixed reactions.
What to Expect
You may find that you cry a lot or when you are least expecting it. This is very normal.
There may be times you need to be alone. You and your family come first at this time.
There is no “set time” for your responses to a miscarriage. You may feel shock, guilt, anger, sadness and despair. You may be calm one day and distressed the next. Your reactions are all part of a normal grief response.
Partners often grieve in different ways. It is important that partners communicate with each other at this time and be aware of each other’s feelings and thoughts.
You may want to talk about your feelings and thoughts with someone else who has had a similar experience or with a professional counsellor. Talking about what has happened and how you are coping can be very helpful.
Ways that we can help
- Parent and Family Support; We have trained peer supporters who have experienced the death of a baby or young child. They can provide visits to the newly bereaved or phone support.
- Counselling; Professional counselling from a trained Bereavement Counsellor is available.
- Support Groups; Monthly meetings are held by the SAMS group for parents who have lost a baby through miscarriage or still birth. For more information on SAMS please telephone SIDS and Kids Hunter Region
- Literature; We have an extensive lending library containing books on miscarriage and grief which you are welcome to come and borrow.
For further information about any of these services please contact SIDS and Kids Hunter Region on
4969 3171 or Email:
supporthunter@sidsandkids.org
Link to SAMS meeting dates
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